Dear Son -
Lately, you've been very interested in things much too mature for what a mom would like a 7 year old to be asking questions about. Nonetheless, I am answering those questions as frankly and positively as possible. Many may question our motives as parents, why we would talk to you about such things? But I firmly believe that you should feel comfortable asking us any question you think.
So what have those questions been? Well, you asked about sex. Your friend had already told you the jist of it so there was no need for us to elaborate much more. You've asked about body parts (breasts, breastfeeding, vaginas, penises, etc.) We even talked about you having a girlfriend and what you thought it meant. I'll be honest in saying it totally made me gasp at what you might have said, but then I relaxed when you stated that "we just do fun things together" as for what boyfriends and girlfriends at age 7 do.
I love your curiosity. I love how in tune you are with emotions and the giving of love. Your hugs fuel me and your kisses are soft reminders that you are so sweet. I hope you never lose those parts of you. I love how you look at a woman and love the curves and smiles the best! One day you'll be a great husband/boyfriend (although you have sworn to me that you will never marry!) As much as a mom wants her baby boy to stay with her forever, I know you will grow up to love another woman more than me - or differently than me.
Though we've already discussed a lot of the "birds and bees" so young I just want to remind you of the key points we want you to remember, cherish, value and protect.
1) Your body is YOUR body and no one else has claim to it. You give permission for someone to touch, caress or harm it. Protect it; value it; and respect it.
2) Just as your body is yours -- HER body is hers! Value it and RESPECT it!
3) RESPECT that is the best word I can teach you about relationships - whether they are friends, lovers or spouses. You must show respect to get it in turn. Be kind and be patient.
4) Show your affections and emotions. It never does anyone any good to pretend to not feel. Boys can cry and hurt. But you can also be angry without screaming or hurting. So learn how to handle those emotions as well.
5) Just as you want someone to hear you out - you have to be willing to hear them out! Communication is key to any relationship and it should be honest, sincere and thoughtful. Try not to speak in anger as it can do more harm than you think. Communication can be verbal, nonverbal or written.
6) Don't give your heart (or "v card") to just anyone. Make sure they are deserving and treating you with respect and love. It's ok to say not right now - even if all the other kids are doing it!
There's probably a lot more I could tell you. How to not make the mistakes I did or to do this and that. But ultimately it's your heart. Continue to question - continue to be willing to love, even if your heart has been broken. I hope that you can always feel comfortable asking us those "serious" and possibly "embarrassing" questions.
Now that I'm sure I'm completely embarrassed you (by telling your stories and talking about s-e-x!) I'll finish my letter with just a little xoxo and I LOVE YOU!!!
Love, Momma
