Watch what you wish for.....

So Trevor had his first Principal visit yesterday.  SMH  for of all things - standing on his chair in the cafeteria!  I mean really?!???  But still we visited the principal so some major "Parenting" was needed to set the record straight that this was unacceptable behavior.

The Child Development Specialist in me went into full force, while the mother in me cringed with embarrassment and desire to just yell and take away all fun things in his life!  I set up a little work station for him when he got home from baseball practice.  He would read 3 books - I am a Good Friend; I'm in Charge of Me and I show Respect.  After that he had 5 reflective pages of questions where he would write his thoughts/answers......"What is respect?" "How do I show respect?" "What do I do if I am upset?" "Who are some friends who help me make safe and responsible decisions?" "What should I do if a friend wants me to make a choice that is not safe and responsible?"  Then 2 papers folded to look like cards (meant to be apology cards to the principal and Lunch Monitor)

Trevor walks in and immediately says "I guess you heard the news?"  face looking down and voice quiet.  I ask him to tell me..... so he does and we have a little conversation about this incident, what led up to it and what followed.  Then I explain his tasks.  He grumpily begins to read one book.  Then chooses to answer his reflective questions.  I leave him for a bit, then return to see how he is progressing as I heard some grunts and sighs from the other room.  He has answered all the questions and is working on reading another book - "I'm in Charge of Me." 

He is to be eating his dinner at the same time.... Fish, vegetables with ranch and strawberries.  I notice that all the berries are gone, some veggies eaten and no bites on the fish.  So he asks what it is and I explain how I bought this "big fish" because he said he likes it. We "argue" a bit about it then he very matter-of-factly looks at me and says "See Mom, THIS is what I am talking about?"  I ask "what do you mean?"  "THIS, THIS is what I always say."  I again ask "What?"  He states "Why can't I make my own decisions?"  OUCH........ he picks up the book and begins to point out pages to me "Like this" he says...... so I try to explain that sometimes Mommy and Daddy's have to decide things, sometimes he can decide things and sometimes it's just the RULES and he has to follow them. 

At this point I quit arguing about the fish - he can eat if he wants.  He continues to work.  I discuss some consequences and I again get the "I thought I was supposed to say what I want to do? Why can't I do what I want to do?"  OUCH again.....  Now I'm thinking the "I'm in Charge of Me" book is getting taken too literally.  So I explain that when he doesn't make good choices he cannot have privileges -- which is what prompted that second blow to my CDS ego - as he found out that there will be NO video/electronic fun until Mommy and Daddy deem otherwise.

I'd love to say we discussed all the things he is in charge of, but at this point in the activities I needed his focus to be on his apology to wasting the principal's time and not following the rules.  But seriously, gotta love it when your "teaching moment" turns into its own beast!!!